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2012: the resolutions

2012-01-02T03:10:00.003+08:00

I never actually had a New Year's resolution because I know that I won't be sticking to it. But then again, I thought that maybe this year I should start listing down a few things I wanna do or achieve this year. Not merely just resolutions, but a mixture of resolutions + things to look forward to/2012 agenda.

1) To be one size bigger by end 2012.

2) To get fit - jog/exercise at least once a week

3) To read more

4) To avoid negative people

5) To get a haircut

6) Own a car

7) Save, save and SAVE

8) Give, rather than spend

9) Smile, always

10) March

11) Phuket

12) Gold Coast

13) Family wedding

Let there be light in 2012.

2012-01-01T16:52:00.005+08:00

I am thankful with the blessings; Food,Friends,Family, Health, Patience, Work, Money and Love.

The New Year approaches in such a lovely way, and I am blessed in every way.

Thank you, 2011.

Smiles to the next few months.

social chameleon

2011-12-29T12:05:00.005+08:00

I was looking for a word to define some people whom I find hard to understand. Then I can't help but recall the term "social chameleon" which I learned in my Social Science syllabus (I think I've come across this term back in the days) . So I googled and read about it.

Here's a good definition from sapphospeaks :-

"The real social chameleons that go from person to person being all things to all people are simply a blank slate in reality. They are either so damaged or so stunted that at some point in their growth they simply shut down and adopted a malleable yet likable persona – a simpleton of sorts that layers could be added or subtracted to depending upon the situation. The layers become a bit thicker through the years but the true person never changes and the values or belief system that make up anyone are simply not present in this core. It is built into the layers – layers that on some issues have both the positive and negative viewpoint to fulfill everyone’s dream for the perfect friend or lover."

Every article has a different take on this. It can be both good and bad depending on the situation. I'm not saying that it's bad to be a Social Chameleon, having mentioned that. It's good if we know how to interact and blend into different crowds. In my case, I always tell myself to limit from being too comfortable because not many people can be trusted. And for some, it can be an unhealthy competition with themselves wanting so hard to be 'in'. Here are my points :-

1) A Social Chameleon is not at all a bad person. I guess one just feel the need to fit in and be equal with anyone else in the group/clan.

2) Reason one becomes a Social Chameleon is maybe because that this person never experience the 'glory' of high school life -- that a person wants to be noticed at least once in her/his life.

3) I truly believe that in private, Social Chameleons have low self-esteem and fear of being alone/rejected. Thus, they need to be around people who make them look (or/and) feel good.

4) True personality of a Social Chameleon is often undefined.

5) Social Chameleons may want people/the public to take notice of them and their social lifestyle.

6) Sometimes, their actions are not intentional. They may feel like they are already in a comfortable stage to act as the person they think they are - yet are not aware of it.

Do you know anyone who is a Social Chameleon?

merry!

2011-12-27T13:06:00.004+08:00

Merry Christmas from the World Match Racing Tour

Selamat Hari Natal! That's "Merry Christmas" in my language Bahasa Malaysia.

I might be two days late but it's still not too late for a new year's wish. Have been absent from the blog-sphere for a while now. I guess I feel like there's nothing much to say but the truth is... so many things happened recently. Good things to be precise.

The problem with me is that I get bored quite easily so I need a little change once in a while. I hope this new layout will give me some inspiration to start writing again.

the thoughts; when I feel blessed.

2011-12-27T12:18:00.002+08:00

Truth is..

2011-10-19T00:40:00.002+08:00

Truth is....

No matter how happy we are, we are never satisfied...

It's human nature that we are always in the search for something better.

another start to an end.

2011-09-11T03:19:00.002+08:00

I figured things could've been better, but my instinct were never wrong. I did not shed a tear, but I smiled instead. I still don't know what I really feel but I pray to not look back. May this be a good start for either one of us. Until we meet again.

work station

2011-09-08T23:35:00.004+08:00

It's so weird knowing that I've been staying in this room alone for so long, but I feel like I haven't really settled in. Reason being is that there are still some alien stuff that doesn't belong to this room anymore. I am planning to do a major spring cleaning and organize everything back together. And since I spent so much time on laptop, I figured that I should have a work station in here. I don't feel like there is enough space for a big one. I am planning to get a small desk and simple decor to go with it. Got inspired by House to Home with their displays of different kinds of work station ;

image source : http://www.housetohome.co.uk

fierce

2011-09-08T23:02:00.004+08:00

If I was brave enough, I'd be her.

Isabeli Fontana for Vogue Paris

Amy

2011-08-23T01:36:00.002+08:00

Let's end the night with good music by a talented musician that we truly missed, Amy Jade Winehouse (14 September 1983 – 23 July 2011). Rest in Peace girl.

Weddings and such

2011-08-23T01:05:00.005+08:00

I've been meaning to write a long post since I've been away for quite some time. Well I just think that life has been quite balanced these past few months. Seriously, life has been boring except that I have great company to waste my time with. Other than that, nah I'd rather stay home and get a lil busy with the new addition to the family.

By the by, My two girlfriends came over for a short while earlier. Just chilling and have some quick "wasting time" session. We had a short conversation about wedding/marriage. Now, one thing everyone has to understand. Wedding and marriage is two different thing.

Marriage, as defined by dictionary.reference.com is the "social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife bylegal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc." Wedding, on the other hand is the ceremony/celebration of a marriage. In short malay term, "Majlis Kahwin" la. Being a woman, I do have my own dream wedding but I don't wanna be "dreaming" about it that I feel the rush to get married. Some women as young as my age are already "dreaming" to get married. For what I don't know. I mean fine if you have a special someone or you THINK that he/she is the one then I guess you can plan all you want. But what if you don't even have someone, or not even close to having a potential so-called "the one"? Why waste your time wanting a wedding so much. Some people can talk so much without knowing that they're actually not ready for a marriage. Wedding is just a weekend thing, but marriage is long-term ( lifetime perhaps?).

And what's wrong with browsing wedding pictures/photos? It really does not imply that you are planning to get married. Well for some cases, maybe..But not all the time.

politics

2011-08-07T01:37:00.002+08:00

I figured out one thing. Politic is about authority. Most of the time it is dirty.

And when I say politic, it means every single aspect of life that involves politic. It's sad that we are all a part of this political structure.

Dahlia Imani

2011-07-17T23:50:00.003+08:00

you know what matters most now? you. my little bundle of joy, my reason to smile every morning and my source for a peace of mind. Sometimes, I need a vulnerable person who only looks at me when I talk, who doesn't understand and who I can talk to when she sleeps. It's fun talking to a baby. They're so hard to resist!

S.O.S

2011-07-10T23:10:00.003+08:00

It's funny how some people never get tired of trying. I pity some people for letting themselves being used by other people. I pitied myself last time. I remembered telling myself to open my eyes to seek for other opportunities. Well, I did. The only problem is, I can't seem to open my heart for that and anything else. Some S.O.S, perhaps?

just that

2011-07-03T22:43:00.003+08:00

Have you ever wondered about wanting to move on so bad but the only thing that blocks you is the thought of seeing that one person with another girl? I never really thought about it that much. But it finally did crossed my mind, and I just wished it'd go away. But then again, it's so stupid to keep holding on to something that's not even there. I realized that I have to start opening up to other things and accept new things in my life. And slowly, I am able to do that.

I don't wanna be living in denial and I will live with the fact that I won't get everything that I wanted. I think it's safe to say that in certain cases for me, I can't be "just friends" with a guy. At some point there will be a little bit more than "just friends". It's just a matter of making it work or to keep in work within the line. I thought I was a risk taker, but now I think I'd rather play safe. Afterall, it's better to avoid the risk than to do things the wrong way.

phase

2011-06-09T01:35:00.003+08:00

One thing I really hate about meeting new people (especially guys). When you agree to go out with them, they might just end up expecting more from you. And I thought it's easy to use body language to imply that I am interested in friendship, nothing more. But some just don't get the message. I am not good at saying 'no' because I don't wanna lose the opportunity getting to know someone as a person. But when things do happen, it'll just stop there. It makes me look bad but I feel like as adults, we all should act professionally and remain good ties if things don't work out as planned. I'm not into chasing so much either. If you decided to be cold, then be it. It's really not my loss anyway. I would rather appreciate the existing friends that I have and who actually accept me as a friend and don't expect much from me.

As the saying goes, " people come and go". At one phase in life, we'll meet someone who means so dear to us but as time passes by, there will be events that break whatever that you've shared with one another and they just leave.. And then different people will enter our lives and the cycle continues. On the other side, I believe that being nice to people is a charity that I can do to the people around me. I hope that these people appreciate the little things that I do and see my effort in it. I only put effort in something that I care so much. But in time I will know that it's my turn to leave when I feel like I am not needed anymore.

People come, and go....

2011-05-10T22:23:00.004+08:00

The catchup session I had with a good friend of mine two weeks back made me ponder upon a lot of things. First, she just lost her bestfriend from a hit & run accident. I nearly teared up while listening to her telling us how the whole thing happened, and I just thought that it's so surreal anything could happen to you within a blink of an eye. I remembered my response was, "life is fucking short!"

From what I can recall, I've met this girl twice and never actually gotten the chance to know her personally. But I heard she was a really bright girl and she had so much to look forward to in life. But at the end of the day, you can't help but to accept the fate that has been written. To be frank I've always thought about death. It's scary to think about it but the thought just happens to cross my mind sometimes. I've had several dreams about dying at one point and I actually did recall back these dreams and how I did manage to escape myself. Although I don't usually believe in interpreting dreams per se, I can actually describe how I feel whenever I wake up in the morning. It's so real that I felt thankful to be waking up alive. Like I can literally feel the pain or whatever. But I never woke up in between sleeps or woke up in tears.

Back to the story, I was on mobile Facebook sometime last week and I went through my Friendship request list. I remembered seeing her name appeared first. It was just before my bedtime and I swore I had goosebumps then and there. Only later I found out that the request was from two months ago. Honestly, I didn't approve the request because we've never actually had a conversation before to actually be virtual friends. I don't know if I'm not being friendly but I like to keep my Facebook personal. Little did I know that she was gonna go two months later.

She's in good hands now. Rest in Peace Kim. Alfatihah..

I swear it didn't hurt as much as it did....

2011-05-02T22:25:00.003+08:00

...but at least I know some parts of the heart is affected by it. Just when I thought that I wouldn't get hurt by the consequences, well tears don't lie.

There are things that I am not able to say to you, but even if I do..would you even wanna do it in the first place? I can't tell you how to break my walls. I'm sure if you want it as bad, you would've done it long ago.

what actually breaks my heart is to know that I'm still a stranger after all these years. I wish we could start from the start, but who am I kidding?

Maybe it'd be nice if I was transparent. Just maybe....

my wonders.

2011-04-24T01:25:00.003+08:00

One thing that I always try avoid to do but end up failing: Revisiting my emotions. I have finally lost it tonight, but good thing is that I know where it's leading me. So... I can say that I do have a heart.

The situation that I got myself into currently is pretty much vague. I don't know if that's the correct word to define it but it's just how I see it. I'm a firm believer in my own hunches. Sometimes when I feel uneasy and disturbed, then I know that it's not a good sign. Then some bad news happened and I'd tell myself, "I knew it!" But whenever I feel calm, then I know all will be smooth despite whatever shit that I've had to put up with.

Nonetheless I don't think too much about the worries. I prefer to just go with what I want to do because I know that I've got nothing to lose. I have my own way in putting my effort in the things that I want to work for. I should know that it will all be worth it in the end. That's why I put so much effort in the first place. I don't want to expect the same return but I'd appreciate a little thank you and an acknowledgement at least. A lot of people have forgotten that simple words can be priceless to someone, material things don't matter anymore.

I promise to myself that I won't cry because things don't end up the way I want it to be, and I will keep that in mind. But I'm really sad because some people don't have the courtesy to say thank you to the littlest thing. Is it because it's so little that they fail to notice the importance?

I'm just wondering..

the moment

2011-04-17T01:35:00.003+08:00

"Take my hand, and lead me there
Lend me your shoulder and make me comfortable
Talk to me and be my friend
Hold me tight and make me warm
Wipe my tears and make me safe
Utter the words and make me believe
Let me in, promise I'll stay" -DN

Youth for Humanity : Orang Asli Project

2011-04-14T23:55:00.005+08:00

So, this is what I was up to last weekend.

Youth for Humanity gathered 11 members to Kampung Orang Asli Sungai Rasau Hilir, Batu 14 Puchong last Saturday for our Orang Asli Project. This is basically the second Orang Asli village that we've visited thus far. The first was only a short one at Kemensah. We didn't know what to expect having no experience going to Orang Asli villages. But after the visit at Kemensah, we knew what we can do for the Orang Asli children. Other than necessary donations, we can actually assist them in terms of education. So that was our aim for the second visit.

It was all in all, a very satisfying visit. Having to see smiles on the children's faces is just an amazing feeling. We managed to fulfill our main objective which is to teach them English. But in between, we organized games for them and some extra something to keep them motivated. I really like seeing their eagerness to learn . They pretty much know their weakness in English language,and this actually made them want to learn and learn!

I'm glad to say that the visit was a complete success. We managed to teach the children, have fun with them and of course, donate. I am very hapy with the turnouts and we are definitely looking for more people to join us next time. And another good news; our group is in the process of registering. We are still reading through the document and will soon find the perfect time to register. Yay!

....also, I can say I'm a proud 'teacher' now.

Fatin 'bribing' the kids to join us at the Hall. Nah, actually this is how we attract kids. (Not the bribing, btw)

One of the best shots featuring the infamous Maria Elena. Thanks Ena for your interest to be a part of this!

Last kopek before we depart.

cool, calm and collected

2011-04-03T23:12:00.003+08:00

I always thought to myself on any occasion that things will not be as bad as what it seems. I wanted to stay calm especially during the times when I have reached a point where I can just burst. But I can't keep bottling up the feelings I have inside. I am at a level where I feel like whatever that I'm doing is just plain ridiculous. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. But frankly, I wanna do what's best for me and I wanna commit myself to something that I want/ like. I can't keep on complaining about my worse days and I don't want to anyway. It's so much nicer to shut one eye, and close one ear as long as I can. But on another note, my other concern has been well understood by both parties. I only want to make it right. We'll see how it goes...

somethin' somethin'

2011-04-01T10:23:00.002+08:00

One thing about having a blog is that sometimes people can get misunderstood by what you write. Even if you're not referring to anyone in particular, people will just take things differently. It's scary because suddenly you found out that this person hates you because apparently you "bitch" about her/him in your blog. But the fact is I can't control what people think or say. I have a lot of other things to care about rather than having to filter what I want to write on my blog to avoid from certain misunderstandings.

If you're still wondering, I will not attack a person on my blog no matter how much she/he annoys the hell outta me. If I write about something, that means it is really "SOMETHING" to me. period.

almost

2011-03-30T23:19:00.000+08:00

I want you to know that I am a woman. My heart is still fragile even if you see a strong person in me. I am still not made out of steel. Consider me, consider my feelings and just understand.

decision?

2011-03-27T22:56:00.006+08:00

"Beginnings are usually scary, endings are usually sad, but it's what's in the middle that counts. So when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will."— Hope Floats

I have trust in myself to make the right decision. I believe that if I take the risk and take the possible chances, what have I got to lose anyway? I really don't want to regret making any decision, but I feel like I'm stuck in a situation where I need to find a way out somehow. And there's only one way. Faith.

religion

2011-03-23T23:52:00.001+08:00

"If you are given, be thankful. If you are tested, be patient. If you have sinned, seek forgiveness." - Amir Muhaddith (Loon)

I remembered some time last year, I was watching a few video about how this former rapper found Islam. He is no Jay-Z nor P.Diddy, but his name still rings a bell to some people. Anyway, I was so amazed when I first saw one of his interviews on Youtube. I believe God opened his heart to find the religion himself. Not through Da'wa, but he was given the 'hidayah'(light) to embrace the religion. Masyallah I am amazed!

So he was in Malaysia for a few days. I didn't get to see him when he gave a talk in UIA because it was on a weekday. But I found out he was gonna give a talk on Saturday the same week. So I actually spent half of my Saturday to actually attend to this event. Watching him, I still can't believe he was once a product of Hollywood fame. And while he was talking, I thought to myself, "how come a person like him, who wasn't born a Muslim is eager to learn so much and get himself closer to his Creator? But us Muslims are moving further away from Him?" The answer is simple. We are born with the religion and it has become a part of us that we think we know enough about it. But these people they know nothing about the religion, thus they are eager to learn and understand. And the more they understand, the more they fall in love with the beauty of it.

And for me, as far as my religion is concerned, it's simply pure love, peace and beauty.

unthinkable

2011-03-20T01:51:00.002+08:00

well written.

chemical reaction

2011-03-20T00:52:00.003+08:00

(Breathe in, breathe out....)

One thing that I'm scared to deal with is confrontation. It can lead to two things: either a really good progress or a really bad ending. Sometimes I feel like it's better to just keep things to myself to avoid from ruining the present. But at the end of the day, the feeling of letting out all my doubts, confusion and what I feel is a big relief. I now know what the situation is and where do I stand.

At this point, I can say that I'm not scared anymore and I am definitely ready to accept any possibilities. Sounds unlike me? I can really laugh at myself right now but I don't want to see this as a joke. In fact, I have always been cautious with this one because I know deep in my heart that this might be it. There's always hope but I have not been in line with my feelings for this because of the situation.

As of now I'm thinking the age factor shouldn't be in a picture. It's all about timing. It's probably a whole new thing for me because it feels a lot more different than my other recent involvements. What if I say, I want it serious? There just so much to give, and there's a lot more for me to tell if I see a glimpse of a green light. I can smile now because I know that some things have been clarified. But it happened so fast that I know some things were not mentioned. Nevertheless I'm completely fine now.

If it's mutual, then I would want to take this chance. It takes two to tango, right?

overdue

2011-03-04T12:51:00.002+08:00

I think I've lost my touch in writing. I know there are a lot of things to ramble about but I can't find the right angle. Angle? Exactly! That's what I learned in PR. By the by, I've been absent for two months its not funny. I told myself to keep practicing my writing this year but work has taken its toll on me. Not that I'm complaining, but well that's life. Since it's the new year, I realized I haven't post anything about my new year's resolution and plans for the year. But to be honest, I never had a new year's resolution. I have my reason. I just want more of what I have in my life. More love, more rizq, eat healthy, stay healthy, to give more and to get more..But at the same time to try eliminate the negatives; ego, materialism, dramas, bad habits.

But above all, what I really need first is a balance to get things right. Sometimes I don't feel right. It may look right on the surface, but I am confused, unfocused and emotionally unstable. It takes a lot of courage to admit right there. I seriously hate to complain but from what I see the boat is sailing smoothly, then I guess I'm alright.

commitments

2011-01-08T03:40:00.003+08:00

Being uninvolved has taught me to ponder upon a few things and observe the surrounding events. Having to listen to the word 'commitment' is something that I thought was easy. But it turns out to be bigger that the word itself. My stand is simple and direct. It simply means you whole-heartedly submit yourself to the 'commitment' that you're engage into. It does not mean that you can't sway to the other side. Human is not always perfect that we tend to get lost somewhere in between. But to commit is to put your heart into it and just be faithful. Either you have lost it or not, if you don't stray then you are on the right track.

Being involved also means that you have this restrictions. Even if no kinds of restrictions being made from both parties, there's always an inner voice that restrict you from being a free bird. That's just being committed, I guess. Still, regardless of it being painful most of the time, humans are still needy. At the end of the day, we still need a hand to pull us back up if we fall. We can stand on our own, but we can't stand alone forever. Sometimes, love is cliche and commitment can be at the tip of the finger. But, appreciation is often neglected. They have said it, and I'm gonna reiterate;

"There are plenty of fishes in the sea, but the tame ones are hiding behind the corals".

Have I told you lately

2011-01-03T15:29:00.002+08:00

I've always heard of people complaining about their employment life. How nice it is to be back to school and not think too much about future or life. I never thought I would face a tough time making my own decisions. I still need Your guidance and blessings to lead me through this path. And I'm sitting here at my desk, thinking; "First job, first day.. Not bad for a start"

money, money, money

2010-12-21T01:56:00.005+08:00

I remember my grandma once told me, "Nanti kalau nak kahwin, cari lelaki yang kaya, banyak duit. Nanti tak payah nak kerja. Duduk rumah je." Right after she finished her sentence I instantly snapped. I questioned her why should I depend on a man when I am still able to work and find my own money. And I thought why the hell am I doing my degree if my dream is to marry a rich man to support me? And hell I ain't gonna waste my painful years of getting a degree by being a housewife. I don't like this kind of traditional mentality where women have to stay home and jaga rumah. Jaga suami is another thing. But the house can survive on its own. I don't have to take care of it. If I was born to marry some rich dude, then my parents could've just saved their money by not sending me to Uni. I get so ticked off when everyone around me is talking about money. Why is everything about money? Yes I know we all need money to survive. And I don't deny that money makes people happy, but it's not the source of happiness. Maybe we all can be happy because we can get a lot of stuff (in material form) with money. But try choose a million cash and the love of your life. Which one would you pick? But in another case, well back to my grandma's statement. Why don't I agree with her? Because men can fuck you up. So ladies, never depend on your men for money. I believe that women should be independent regardless of them being married or not. If your husband fucks you up, at least you can survive on your own. If you have been too pampered and dependent on him, then you're crushed. That's how life goes. You will never know what will happen. But if all goes well, your money is your money and his money is yours too provided that you know your limits. And if you're a gold digger, your husband can be stupid to not notice but people talk.

my heart is a rock

2010-12-15T03:11:00.004+08:00

Imagine to have your heart as hard as a rock. It just won't get you anywhere. You have the potential to face an ocean of opportunities, but you just sit there, static. Not letting anything come near you. Being life as it is, you always have choices, often right or left, A or B, yes or no. Having stuck in a situation where I have to choose makes it harder when I have to consider the consequences regarding my future. At the end of the day, I believe that having a hand to hold helps to soften the heart. They say, "you won't know if you don't try." But the problem is, I have yet to meet one who's worth the try.

friendship matters

2010-12-12T01:59:00.003+08:00

Never have I thought of leaving the uni with a heavy heart. I came in with so much rage against the idea of the whole place. I just simply hated it. But along the journey, I found great sets of people. Some left, but most stayed with me until the end. I wasn't aware how big of an impact it has brought me..until I finally reached my final year. It was so much fun with the ups and downs. We all knew that we didn't have much time with each other, and that we won't have time anymore when we part ways. We all came from different backgrounds, different place that it's so hard for us to reunite after leaving the place and start our own career. Regardless I will never forget each one of the. I still have issues with the university though. Towards the end the only thing that mattered to me was the friendship, my education and my mentors. But all these things come from the same place; UIA. UIA is indeed, a good uni with a good education system. But like many other places that involves politics, they do 'play' with money. And a lot of other things that do no make sense. With all that has been said, I'm proud to say that I survived UIA!

life seems easy this way

2010-11-27T04:16:00.005+08:00

I couldn't explain in a simple sentence of how my life has been these few months. I think this year has been about discovering who I really am apart from letting myself loose. I am more expressive and not afraid to show my emotions now. Yes, I have made pretty bad moves and even if it is the dumbest thing that I have done in my entire life, in a way it gives me a sense of security. I have come to a realization that you can't hold your feelings for too long or you will end up bursting your heads off. This year, I cried a lot lesser than I did in the previous years. I think the easiest way for me to cope is to just be more expressive and let out all emotions and feelings and what not to someone who are willing to do the same with me.....and here I am sitting, trying to construct the right words to express how I feel but I can't. It's hard. I may have lost my touch, or my brain doesn't wanna deal with heavy stuff right now.. Just one thing; Sometimes life seems perfect when you're doing the wrong things.

post to de-stress

2010-10-16T20:12:00.000+08:00

I haven't cried for so long. In fact, I can't remember the last time I did (except during Eid because crying is like a tradition while bowing down for forgiveness..hmm cliche!) Anyhow, I feel like I need a lot of time for myself. Actually there are a lot of things that I need to ponder upon in explaining myself. But for now, I can't do it in this situation. My mind is too caught up with other things that I refuse to think about serious stuff especially what I want right now. I do very much enjoy my time being on my own. I don't need people to flatter me or what not. I would like some space to myself. This message goes to everyone around me, especially family and those I hardly know. I sometimes refuse invitations on purpose. I don't have a better reason to not go out. I just don't have interest to, or it's just one of those moods I have. The point of this post is just to express how I feel at the moment. I am comfortable being on my own with some close companions. But I don't need someone new in my life. I just want to make this thing clear. Thank you for understanding.

where did it all go?

2010-08-15T01:17:00.000+08:00

I threw away my concept of happiness. I have chosen a deviant way to be happy. It isn't right, but nothing ever felt right anymore. I was always afraid if happiness is taken away from me. We can laugh all we want, but the butterflies won't stay long. I wonder where did it all go? Perhaps, I believe that I still have it in me. In this case, I'm just gonna let it flow in my rhythm.

Lookbook of the day: Arizona

2010-08-14T00:30:00.000+08:00

LOOKBOOK.nu: "Arizona" by Charlotte Rouge: "H&M Wedges, Zara Shirts, H&M Shirt, C&a Hat"

define love?

2010-08-13T03:03:00.000+08:00

“We like to think that we are rational beings; humane, conscientious, civilized, thoughtful. But when things fall apart, even just a little, it becomes clear we are not better than animals. We have opposable thumbs, we think, we walk erect, we speak, we dream, but deep down we are still routing around in the primordial ooze; biting, clawing, scratching out an existence in the cold, dark world like the rest of the tree-toads and sloths.” - Grey's Anatomy

There's a fine line between love and lust. I've been there done that, had enough. Love is perhaps a wonderful thing IF it is used wisely and sincerely. But everything gets old, no? In my perspective, the word 'love' itself has become overrated and meaningless. Well to narrow down the general description, I could only see that it is merely just a word. No more, no less than the common definition. What's your definition?

God's beautiful creation

2010-08-13T02:08:00.000+08:00

1. Cholomontos Mountain 2. heart from cloud 3. beautiful ocean 4. rainbow

pilot

2010-08-08T19:30:00.000+08:00

So I decided to create a fresh new version of my blog. Blogging has been a very personal means for me to express myself. But I wanted something more impersonal so I can focus on what I love; photography, literature, arts and writing of course. Hence the blog. I hope this will be a good start for me. :)